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As the world of rock is reduced to so much quivering jelly by the astounding announcement that Billy Idol is to make another solo album, Loud is frankly stunned into submission by yet more jaw-flooring news. It has come to our notice that The Charlatans - indie organ-bothering types that they are ? can actually make audiences sick. Not in the accepted sense of boring punters into submission with extended improvisations on a theme of ?The Only One I Know?, but quite literally. It seems that while The Charlies were working their post-baggy mojo in Aberdeen last May no less than 500 revellers were struck down with Winter Vomiting Disease after witnessing one of their number hoy up their haggis on the dancefloor.
Which is right up there with the Dave Matthews Band emptying their tourbus toilet over a boatload of holidaymakers as far as we?re concerned.
Look out for more excrescence based japes from rock?s rich tapestry in future bulletins. Anyway, back to the boy Idol, a man who in recent years has exhibited a degree of work-shyness that would make even Axl Rose blush (more from old-braided bonce later, incidentally). Information has reached our bunker of metal that the former Bill Broad with the curled lip and the perpendicular peroxide thatch is back in the saddle with ex-guitarist Stevie Stevens, and is set to unleash his next, as yet untitled, album in late March. It most certainly rocks a fat one, but surely only Idol could release a song called ?Yellin? At The Christmas Tree? in Spring.
With Wales?s rock community doing themselves proud and raising shedloads of much-needed cash for the Tsunami appeal in the process it seems that the good folks of Scotland are about to do similar. Franz Ferdinand, Idlewild, Mogwai and Teenage Fanclub are among the Caledonian rockers set to appear at Glasgow?s SEC, and discounting the freak reoccurrence of a Charlatans styled outbreak of mass up-chucking the event is set to be yet another rip-roaring success. It?s already sold out, sadly, but that?s no reason why you shouldn?t make some kind of donation. You know it makes sense.
Speaking of sold out, the Queens Of The Stone Age announced a pair of minute London club gigs to coincide with their new album (also due in March) last week; one at The Underworld, and one at Koko (formerly the Camden Palace ? for the over-thirties/formerly The Music Machine ? for the over-forties) on the very same evening. I can?t remember the date? not that it really matters as all of the tickets were snapped up within two minutes of going on sale.
So hard cheese. Before we move on, let us slip temporarily from our chosen rock path for a moment to consider this. Debbie Gibson has posed for the March edition of Playboy. Never have the words ?Only In My Dreams? seemed quite so apt.
Anyone, snapping back to the harsh reality of large hairy men squealing themselves silly in implausibly tight lycra shorts, Axl Rose ? oh you remember, ginger fella, Guns N? Roses, given to tantrums and head-hankies ? has apparently signed a new publishing deal. Ah yes, but will he actually be publishing anything new, the world asks with no little trepidation, well ? wait for it ? the release of the implausibly long-awaited ?Chinese Democracy? album is said to be ?imminent?.
Ands if you believe that, you?ll believe anything. Until next time? STAY LOUD!!!
Protection - we do a lot of it these days. Sun cream for our skin, sunglasses for our eyes, condoms for you know where - but do you remember to protect your hearing?
Click to find all the information you need to look after your hearing now so you can enjoy music for years to come
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