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Here they are...the answers to some of your most personal and perplexing questions from Dr. Jan Yager, sociologist and author. Check out her real-life advice and see if you can relate.

	I've been with my boyfriend about 7yrs. We have two children - a girl, age 5, and a son, age 3. I feel we have nothing keeping us together except our children. He helps out once in a while but I don't feel it's enough. We aren't living together due to our financial situation. He lost his job. I work for a doctor's office and make enough to pay bills. Whatever is left over goes to buy food. I live with my mom. It's tough. I feel like I can never get ahead. I feel embarrassed living with my mom. Anyhow, I feel I shouldn't have to ask him to help with the kids. My son is potty training now. Being the "man" he should be helping. Sometimes I feel I'm being too demanding. Other times I feel I'm not. I need some sort of support emotionally and financially. As cruel as it sounds I didn't make them alone it's nearly impossible to raise them that way. Please help. Sincerely, Should I stay or go?
	Danielle
	I am a very down to earth, smart, nice, pretty girl and all of my friends have boyfriends. There are some kids that like me who I don't know, but I'm wondering if I should have a boyfriend just for my reputation or not.
	Carol
	I am 22 years old and I have never had a very serious relationship with any male. Any relationship I get into the guy only wants me for one thing or he's cheating on his significant other. I think I'm a very attractive female, I know I'd look better if I lost weight. What should I do to get into and keep a relationship?
	Beverly
	My husband is so insecure, he always gives me hints as to if I am cheating on him. I can't express enough every day how much I love him and how he is the world to me. How can I stop him from being so insecure about my love for him? Thank you.
	Brenda
	I'm currently 21 and in a long distance relationship with a 23 year old man I like a lot. I had to go away for grad school, and he might follow me eventually, but for now I have to deal without him and I miss him. I trust him not to cheat and he trusts me, but we've both agreed that flirting is just a natural part of life. Well the last night I was in town, a man at a bar bought me and my friends drinks (we were being really cute), I forgot about it and went home to my boyfriend. Since I've been out of town though, that man has called me, and I've told him that I'm not interested but he can talk to me (he seems like a nice but kinda lonely person). He's offered to buy me a cell phone, and I really need a new cell phone, so I thanked him and accepted it. He's reassured me that he understands we're just friends and he's not going to see me since I'm going away, so I feel okay about this. I'm worried about how my bf will feel, and I told him I'm getting a new phone, but not from where. He's a poor post grad [student], and I don't want him troubled by feelings of inadequacy. Earlier I got a new camera from an ex he hates as a going away present and didn't tell him where I got it from either, and it's starting to trouble me that I'm accumulating presents from other guys. I'm not interested in them, they're not a threat or competition to my bf, honestly I like getting the stuff and I doubt he'd ever discover the real source, but do I need to tell him? Also, this second nice guy, I'm never going to meet, and it just seems like he needs someone to talk to, should I stop talking to him? If he offers anything else should I decline? I mean I really like getting free stuff so I'm going to want to accept no matter what, but I can control myself if it's going to be a problem. Do you think it's a problem?
	Cindy
	How should I reply to my husband that I have been married to for six years when he says, "Things in my life are not as I wish them to be? and he states that our relationship is not great either. He wants to fix what is wrong but every time he comes home all he does is get on the computer, play games on the Playstation, or sleep. He doesn't show me any affection! What should I do? As if this were not even enough to deal with, he says he doesn't know how to express his feelings to me and or show me how he feels. But I have only responded to him by saying, "A person can only express what [they're] feeling if they feel that in their hearts." When I seek out my husband for his attention, it's like touching ice. I may be way off the mark but if he wants to be alone, I am hearing the message. We are both only 29 years of age and he likes the big social scenes. I on the other hand don't mind it unless the group is overwhelming. I enjoy crowds of about twenty and he is more like over that limit. Help me!! PLEASE. I am so confused about our situation and just am tired of going back and forth with the thought of leaving him and moving on with my life. It feels like we keep having that same discussion of his life not being where he wants it. Yet he does nothing to change things and I feel as if he wants me to do all the work.
	Melanie
	I've been with my boyfriend now for just over 2 & 1/2 months, everything is going great, except one thing. Whenever I pick up his phone even if it is to look at the time he quickly snatches it off me and starts deleting things on it. Yesterday we spent the whole day together, it was really nice, we went to a park, we were joking around and I got his phone out and again he quickly snatched it off me and said ?Before you look at these I'm going to have to delete these messages.? After about 5 minutes he handed his phone over to me with nothing on it! Am I being stupid and thinking far to into this or should I be questioning if there is someone else???
	Roxanne
	I am 33 and my husband is 26. We've been married for 3 years and I am ready to have a baby and he doesn't seem to be or he's scared. What do I do? I don't want to pressure him.
	Rachel
	I have a couple questions about how to improve my relationship with my sweet husband of five and a half years. I am a sexual abuse survivor (childhood) and only in the last year and half have begun to come to grips with what happened in the past. I have never been much of a conversationalist, and the small talk between my husband and myself seems to center on our two young children, rather than on our issues or how we're feeling. I feel extremely frustrated with myself for not being able to express how I feel or what I'm going through inside to him in a clear way that he understands. I just can't seem to find the words and this block is hurting me and our relationship. What can I do to improve in this difficult but very necessary facet of our relationship? I do try to talk with him, but he wants to "fix" the problems, when I either want him just to listen (and yes, I do ask him to just listen) or when I need an answer, I can't seem to present my questions to him in a way he understands. I need help on this! Thanks for your advice!
	Linda

The information on this Web site is designed for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for informed sociological, psychological, or psychiatric advice or care, and should not be used without consulting a mental health professional for proper guidance or care. The answers to the questions are from Dr. Jan Yager, sociologist and author.

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