Cattle brand of humor Southeast Texan's ad for 'used cows' winds up on the David Letterman show April 25, 2007  | Photos by Mark M. Hancock/The Enterprise
Van Vanover poses with some of his 'used cows' at his home near Sour Lake on Tuesday. He hoped his advertisement for 'used cows' would get someone's attention. He didn't expect it to be David Letterman. | | By SARAH MOORE The Enterprise "Used cows" was Van Vanover's idea of a joke, and it went over better than he would have imagined. CBS late-night funnyman David Letterman read Vanover's classified cow ad from The Enterprise on his Monday show. "You can use 'em for mowing grass, for hamburgers, for a lot of things," the 66-year-old insurance agent said by phone from his home near Sour Lake when asked about his used cows. Vanover was pleased his ad got nationwide attention but confessed the joke was not original. His brother saw a sign advertising "used cows" while driving between his Indiana home and his Florida condo. Thinking it clever, Vanover decided to use it in his ad. He said the ad has generated dozens of calls just wondering about used cows, but he hadn't been inundated with calls in response to his ad's mention on Letterman. While cattle have been the butt of more than a few jokes over the years - (i.e.: Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Ground beef!) - cows themselves are not known for their senses of humor.  | | Van Vanover carries a feed bucket past one of his 'used cows' at his home near Sour Lake on Tuesday. Vanover, an insurance agent, said he has raised cattle for about 11 years because he enjoys 'the way of life.' | | Jimmie West, who raises rare British White cattle on her ranch in Colmesneil, said with the exception of a cow named Lisa, who appears to find it humorous to sneak up on people and butt them from behind, she hasn't known cows to be big jokers. That doesn't mean they aren't funny, however. West said cattle are natural entertainers. "They're a pleasure to watch - the young ones in particular. The things they do are funny; brand new life scampering around, exploring the world, getting in trouble," West said in a telephone interview. Cows also shun controversy, being more interested in chewing their cuds than stirring up any debate. But that didn't stop Letterman from speculating on the air about the sexual orientation of the "pairs" of cows advertised in Vanover's ad. Lesbian cows in Southeast Texas? The scandal! The truth about cows in the classifieds is far less lurid. In the world of cattle breeding, a pair of cows constitutes a mother and calf - as any good country boy would know. Depending on breed and size of cows, a pair can run from $550 all the way up to $1,250, Vanover said. Vanover said he has raised cattle for about 11 years. "It's not about the money," he said. "It's about the tradition - the way of life. It keeps a man active. I'd rather do this than pay for a subscription to a gym. Cows keep you busy." The Enterprise attempted to contact the "David Letterman Show" for comment, but a spokeswoman said the show was in rehearsals and no one was available for an interview. smoore@beaumontenterprise.com (409) 880-0730 | 
