Mike Wallace gets his shot at Roger Clemens on Sunday's 60 Minutes. We get in ours today.

Here are 10 questions we'd pose to the pitching great turned star of the Mitchell Report on steroids. And, if we do say so ourselves, our stuff is filthy. (Hey, kids, that's genuine baseball talk!)

1. How happy are you that Keith Olbermann isn't doing this interview?

2. You know Olbermann, right? He's the smart guy on Countdown, who used to be the smart guy on SportsCenter, who has smartly pointed out that one of the unsung benefits of steroids is their ability to allow mere mortals to work out with herculean stamina and effort.

3. So, um, you're not going to show Wallace your herculean gym regimen, are you?

The Wire, The Wire, The Wire—don't you get sick of critics saying this HBO drama is the best thing since TV was invented? Do you find yourself thinking, If it's so good, why aren't more people watching?

We did.

The Gist:  The bacon may be fake, but our addiction to it is real. 

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If eating six slices of MorningStar Farms Veggie Bacon Strips is wrong, we don't want to be right.

Oh, we know the facts. A suggested serving is two strips. And, honest, we started out that way. Two strips. Two strips borne of egg whites, soy protein and magic. Two strips that taste like they were sliced right off a certain barnyard animal whom we try very hard not to eat because we hear they're smart, and in case they ever take over we want to be on their good side.

The Gist:  This A&E series delivers a bracing look at the real lives of addicts.

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Suggesting you watch reality TV during a writers' strike hardly seems worth the effort: Really, what else is there to watch? Nothing. Nothing but skillfully edited, skillfully produced "reality" shows.

And Intervention.

The A&E series, resuming its fourth season with new episodes starting Jan. 7, is about addicts, addictions and the people who live with them—and, sometimes, without them. It is, like its reality kin, skillfully edited and skillfully produced. But it is also heartbreaking. And gut wrenching. And, if you're lucky, uplifting.

Will Antwahn, the former pro basketball player, give up crack for his kids? Yes, he will. For a while, anyway. (As the postscript reveals, he will disappear and last be seen in a car with a known drug addict.)

Will Sylvia, the interior designer, quit the minibottles of vodka that have wreaked havoc on her and her family? Yes, she will. (And, happily, the postscript will bring only more good news.)

If Intervention is tough to watch—imagine, a reality show that feels achingly real—then it's worth remembering the addict's life is tougher to live and that the lives of the loved ones are impossible to endure. As a viewer, all you have to do is bear witness. And be thankful you get to empathize from the sidelines.

Or be thankful to know you're not alone.

The Gist:  Looking for romance in the new year? We have the movie rental for you.

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Missing Elizabeth Reaser as Ava on Grey's Anatomy? We do, too, but we have the cure for what ails you. It's called Sweet Land, it's on DVD right this minute, and it's one of the most beautiful American movies we've seen in ages.

Yes, Sweet Land captures rural American life with the visual eloquence of a Wyeth painting, but it's the love story that makes this movie such a sheer, unadulterated pleasure. (See, you romantically minded Grey's fans should love it.)

Directed by Ali Selim, Sweet Land features Elizabeth Reaser as Inge, a German immigrant in the period just after World War I. Tim Guinee plays Olaf, a taciturn farmer in a Norwegian-settled part of Minnesota. Their arranged marriage turns out not to be so arranged: Her immigration papers aren't in order, she doesn't speak English, and that whole German thing is a big freaking deal with the local minister. So, they aren't allowed to get married.

The Gist:  We have the scoop on this year's stamps. Yeah, you read that right. 

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One funny thing about stamps: Nobody buys them anymore, and yet everybody wants to be on them.

We, of course, exaggerate. Yes, people still do buy stamps, and, no, not everybody wants to be immortalized in postage form—that death requirement, after all, is a killer.

That said, an awful lot of us do have ideas about who should be on stamps. David Failor, executive director of stamp services for the U.S. Postal Service, told us about 50,000 suggestions come in each year. From that, about 20 subjects or series are chosen. 

In 2008, The Yearling author Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings, black-cinema films of the 1930s, such as Josephine Baker's Princess Tam-Tam, and more, will be celebrated. Frank Sinatra and Bette Davis will get the most press (at least from us).

The Davis stamp, Failor said, will feature a portrait of the Oscar-winning actress in all her All About Eve glory, sparing us all a still, and a chill, from Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

The Sinatra stamp, as unveiled this month, is a tribute to the Chairman of the Board's gift for natty fedoras in the 1950s. Daughters Nancy and Tina signed off on the selection.

"All of us really had settled on something from the 1950s era," Failor said. "That was the fondest memories [the children] had of their father."

You know how at the Oscars, the parade-of-dead-people package (probably not its formal name) turns into an annual contest to see which star gets the most applause? 

We get that.

Yes, we loved Mario Galaxy, Halo 3 and Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, but we’ve compiled this list of the year's best with one rule in mind: all-new titles only. So, let’s take look at the new stories and characters that rocked our year.

The Conflict: Can Mariah Carey's classic holiday song melt the cold hearts of Christmas scrooges?

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So, the past couple of Showdowns we've examined have been entirely theoretical, but today we actually have some life experience related to the matter at hand.

We have long believed in the magical powers of Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas Is You." Released 13 years ago, it's the only Christmas song to reach iTune's top 10 most downloaded list, and it continually tops Billboard charts every December. Love Actually, one of our favorite holiday movies, seems to be based entirely on this song.

If commercial success weren't enough, there's that warm fuzzy feeling we get every time we hear the simple chimes of a xylophone at the very beginning of the song. It gives us just enough time to shush everyone so they can enjoy the greatness about to play out.

From there it just gets better, the slow start, the piano that speeds the song up, the backup vocals, the lamest bass line ever, the jingle bells, Mariah's voice reaching octaves inaccessible to humans and, most of all, the title lyric that fills our heart with love for love.

We thought this song was enough to cure even the most extreme cases of bah humbuggery. But something happened this past weekend that changed the world as we knew it.